Things that make us go hmmm...

My Beliefs...

That first word makes it so difficult... Do I, myself, have beliefs of my own? With everything happening with my grandma lately, I have been thinking a lot. I don't know why I believe in what I believe. I know that I was raised Christian, I was raised to love and honor God, but if someone were to come up to me and ask me to explain to them what I believe and why, I would not know what to say. I do not have anything to support my beliefs... I am in no way saying that I no longer believe in God, but I don't know why I do. I have gone to church most of my life, but I can honestly say that I have not learned much.

I have always been told that God works in mysterious ways, and that he always answers your prayers, but it may not be the answer you were looking for. But why? Why does life have to be so damn hard at times? Why do good people, whom have not hurt a single soul in their entire lives and whom have worshiped and honored the Lord their entire lives have to suffer so much? Stepping aside from my grandma's situation -- Crack whores are known to pop out babies left and right. They want nothing to do with them, the poor babies are born addicted to drugs, yet they still have kids all the freaking time! Then there is a loving couple that believe fully in the Lord and his ways and they lose two in a row. One a miscarriage and another they get to hold their child just to lose him a few minutes later. I just don't understand. I am sure that if I look a little deeper the answer is right in front of my face, but right now, in my confused state I see nothing, and it is making me more confused about what I believe.

If anyone can shed some light, it would be greatly appreciated. I am just so mixed up with so many emotions that my thought process is fogged. I think I should spend some time researching the beliefs I was raised on... Maybe that will help some.